That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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