I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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