Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
