she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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