i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
