my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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