if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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