When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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