Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
