Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

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(917): View more from New York City

well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Some one left their pants in the elevator.

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(516): View more from New York

i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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(254): View more from Texas

Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it

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(813): View more from Florida

It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.

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