so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
