I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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