so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
