I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
