I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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