He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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