you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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