Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Randomize
