But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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