they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
