it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
