Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
