I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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