they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
