My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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