In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
