so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
