THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize