Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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