My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
