did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
