Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
