I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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