Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize