He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
