I hate all girls vehemently.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
