i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
