no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
