We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
