i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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