his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
