Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
