I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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