i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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