Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
