look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
