is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
