I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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