So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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