three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex heβs ever had even with the broken couch
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