I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
