i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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