If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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