do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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