i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
