Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize