whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
