6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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