Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
