You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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