After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
