I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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