I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
