Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize